Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Ryan Crocker Is Delighted To Present: The Biggest-Titted Success Story EVER: I R A Q!

Welcome, gang, to the wonders of 2008!

Great news for ye who seek refreshment from the sagging slog of that old front in the War on Tare. You know, Iraq? It's so . . . over.

Because, you know, I heard this interview on that, you know, NPR?

Renaaay Montayyyn, our favorite sexy fashionista of the 'public' airwaves, was like, making out with St. Ryan Crocker, the US Ambassador to the Highly Sovereign Nation of Iraq, and it was cool, because now we know all we need to know about how that place is doing these days. And heck, a beginning of a new year Report was perfectly in order, and indeed, a pretty nice courtesy to offer us.

But really:

Indeed, Crocker has made a whole career out of that fake self-effacing modesty act. He's a major player who's deeply committed to the sham - what other role could he possibly play? And to me, NPR is absolutely complicit in the PR machine that Crocker & Corp needs to promote, especially now, with the supposed 'lull' in Iraq in full display for all the world to marvel at, with a collective sigh of relief! It's a no-brainer that part of the Surge deal with the media was that coverage of the daily death in Iraq would be drastically reduced. The Surge has been like a black hole as far as journalistic documentation is concerned. Who knows what the actual reality has been? Objective reporting has been downright banned.

Fat 'n Fluffy Freddie Kagan, one of the Surge's chief schemers, certainly enters the halls of the American Enterprise Institute in high triumph every day. In the not too distant future, all of America will point to him and declare, 'It was he who saved Iraq!'
(NOTE: I deplore the use of the term 'architect' for anyone wangling a war in the sub-sleazy way that Iraq was pulled off. That rather distinguished profession involves design, but design that usually involves building, not destruction. There is nothing whatsoever of Frank Lloyd Wright or Norman Foster to be found in the likes of the reprehensibe Wolfowitz or Rumsfeld - or Kagan. Please, good people of the public and of the media, desist from using this term in that manner. Besides, it smacks of Luntzism, and that's as low as one can get.)

And NPR's breezing along, glad that they stuck by Bush Doctrine while others fell by the wayside. They held steady, like, you know, Bill 'Howdy-Doody' Kristol has, and now Bill's gettin' his place in the sun at the New York Times. Thus are patience and loyalty rewarded. And NPR wants a piece of that action. Their audience, weary of 'scary' stories out of I-rak, is getting a well-deserved break. Noble-but-misunderstood Ann Garrels is fuming with self-pity in DC ('Why do they hate me out there? Why? But I'll show THEM - I shall return!') and 'Kid Jamie' Tarabay is shopping in Dubai (sounds boring; not even funny).

I guess we won in Iraq, huh?

We can well imagine that NPR gets these plum interviews like Crock-up and other big players, only on the conditions that complete cooperation is assured, with no controversial lines of questioning allowed, and certainly, with final approval rights built in. Another violation of Smith-Mundt Act (e.g. no public funds shall be utilized for propagandistic purposes). Sure, they let NPR toss in a few token and timid 'probing' questions, just to make their shill news outfit sound credible, but we all know what a joke that is. I think it's controlled to that extent, certainly. No conspiracy theory necessary. BushCorp/Cheney Industries would tolerate nothing less. Nothing can be left to chance.

When Ry Crock appears on Democracy Now!, or equivalent, then maybe I'll pay the slightest attention to his empty and tiresome life insurance salesman's banter.

Last night at our modest NY's Eve party, we heard some gunshot-sounding fireworks going off down the street. A friend commented, in mock-Petraeus style, 'The Surge is working.' We about fell off our chairs laughing.

Happy New Year, gang. It's the home stretch.

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