Thursday, October 28, 2010

This Just In: There's Quite A Bit of Bullshit To Be Found In Political Advertising. Source: NPR

Part One: Helpful Insights

Well, I’m relieved to know that NPR has just discovered the extent of the BS factor in political advertising. If Overby & Seabrook hadn’t pointed this out in their recent ‘series’, in which they exposed all the legal hankypanky going on in the poli-advertising industry, I would have continued to believe everything I heard and saw in paid political advertising.

I think DN! knew that Crossroads GPS & Co. were Karl Rove creations about an hour after they were indeed created. NPR follows up at a ‘dignified’ distance, when the coast is clear, of course, and when the facts are so glaringly obvious. Even the MSM, guided by Murdoch-ian boilerplate of declaring facts at the last possible moment (e.g. when they are irrefutable) is usually way ahead of NPR’s slug-slime-slow outreach. NPR’s excuse is probably that they’re doing a story more ‘carefully’ or something, no doubt with an ‘intellectual’ approach.

Plus, since turbo-wonk Peter Overby and Gen-X-Appeal 'Adenoid' Andie Seabrook are on the case (with smarts to rival that oh-so-clever Adumb Davidson and crew), we can take anything they say as gospel. It’s all so clear to me now. What a brilliant decision to partner Overby (bald & slinky, possibly gay, and with a lisp that assures his validity, because if they put someone with lousy delivery on the air, they MUST be good), and Seabrook (with built in tools such as a Monsterfat Cowbelly body and a voice of a smarty-pants 'Star Wars' fan, designed to simultaneously soothe and intimidate interviewees, thus 'fleshing out' a dandy story) on this pregnant and timely subject, surely bound for a crypt in the Peabody Awards columbarium.

Part Two: Unquestioned Majesty

And yes, one more comment on He Whom I Cannot Think Of Without Fuming: Tom Gjelten. Like Cheney, Gjelten gets – nay, COMMANDS the entitlement to be the lord of gravitas at NPR. That is, any pronouncement he makes must and shall be taken as an ultimate. We can’t get any higher than Gjelten, can we? I doubt Gjelten knows who Eric Sevareid was, but even if he does, and even if he tries to emulate him, he ain’t no Sevareid. While Eric could have a twinkle in his eye when the BS meter red-lined, Gjelten’s stony voice soldiers on in the service of propaganda, his opportunism taken over by his own self-delusion. Head puffed up by Pentagon fawning and favoring, his pontifications indicate a combo of egotism and monomania, which he is by right entitled to inflict on the public. He may even be more worthless than that other mighty Tom: the Friedman variety.

I find it interesting that Juan Williams was fired over voicing his opinions (on another network), but Gjelten, doing the same thing regarding Wikileaks, and on NPR itself, wasn’t. How now, Viv Schiller? Well, that’s an easy one: Juan’s a mere cabin boy on the good ship Fox, while Gjelten, Lord of Gravitas, shall not be questioned.

Part Three: Postscript

Regarding that other, hipper Juan at NPR, Forero, I think NPR retains him not only because he speaks their kind of propaganda lingo, but because they think he's good at sexing up a given story. No doubt the white breads at NPR think his schmaltzy delivery brings a bit of 'Latin rhythm' to their pathetic lineup. Much better than Julie McCarthy's blue-blooded drawl used to.

AS for the late Nestor Kirchner of the Argentine, may he RIP. Murdoch-ian media can never forgive him for telling Oliver Stone about Dubya's 'war is good for an economy' statement, told to him by Dubya himself.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Now That The Really Not Very Interesting Case of Juan Williams Has Wigged Everyone Who Matters Out...

Bill-o finally got to steal a ratings boost away from his rival Frankenmonster, the Beck-oid. The rest is nothing but the MSM Silly Circus in action.

Nonfiction entertainment ratings will continue to tank. Tweeters 'n Texters and other Future Demographic Participants don't give a rat's sphincter about yawns like Juan (who?).

I thought Alec Baldwin's mission to destroy NPR, supposedly a bit of satire for Pledge Week, says much more about eNdingPR than any other professional reactor voice.

In the meantime, choleric discharge is clogging the sewers in Haiti, and I imagine they've lost count of how many empty coffin funerals there are in Af-Pak, due to bodily atomization from the droning that goes on and on...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Ever-Surprising Evolution of N.othin' P.ublic R.elations

Pentagon-Approved Soriyasahaddinelson gave an 'Entertainment Tonight' style chitchat coverage of Ahmadinejad's visit to Beirut this morn. Always suave Linda Wertenheimermuller asked her, with just the right touch of annoyance in her voice, 'What's he 'doing' there?' The report was a classic hangover from the old Cold War days, when it was Khrushchev who was the all-purpose bad boy.

Condi Roundup: in today's Publish or Perish mania, big news: CONDI HAS A BOOK COMING OUT. Like MeeShill, who beat her to it, Condi's cashing in on the Birmingham ferment, revealing that she did indeed have a bad-ass dad of her own. Problem is, at least MeeShill has a faux-sexy voice, while Condi is nothing but shallow dreariness. She still uses the very same condi-scension she used in a 60 Minutes interview years ago when she referred to the 'little girls' who were blown up in the church bombing, a detachment that served her well in being in on pulling off two indescribably horrible wars. Betcha though, that Condi's bad-ass book outperforms pipsqueak MeeShill's.

A blatant sign that NPR is severely anxious about declining ratings: the local stations are being FLOODED with promos from even the more obscure NPR superstars. Even superstar Jean Cochrane is stepping up (Jean who?) by doing the tedious work of customized promos. We salute her!

Also a bad sign for NPR. The other day NPR tied into an 'enemy' resource: an AL JAZEERA reporter!! Horrors! Weren't they working for Bin Laden and in on 9/11, or what? When Murdoch seizes control of a dying NPR, such practices will STOP, ya hear?

In spite of all this worthless rubbish, Philip Reeves gave what I thought was a wonderful profile of Billingsgate fish market in London. It's not hard to distinguish the rare gems in the NPR gutter. I think NPR maintains Reeves as an 'exotic'. You know, a sort of old fashioned guy like Andy Rooney who appeals to the geezers, So the management can say that yes, indeed, we are diverse, and we allow Reeves to do his thing unimpeded. Or whatever. Talk about condi-scension.