Thursday, March 03, 2011

Actual Contents Of An NPR Diaper Considered

A full diaper-load on Morn Ed this morn. Forgive the onslaught, please.

OK, two US airmen were shot dead in Frankfurt, presumably, says NPR, by an Islamofabulist. An act of terrorism, certainly. Match this with the Davis affair in Lahorror, Pawkeestawn, when our ‘diplomat’ shot two creeps who were ‘trying to rob him’. Interesting how each situation is couched. Terrorism is OUR tool to use, not the other side’s. WE get to use terrorism to explain our M.O., while the Pakistanis get completely freaked out by a guy just defending himself from ruffians. National Praetorian Radio must serve the Imperium at all cost.

Personal: I myself have walked the streets and alleys of Lahore in depth. It is a sophisticated, cultured and fascinating city. And friendly, too, at least when my wife and I were there. A privilege to be there. As safe and as dangerous as New York. Any CIA/mercenary who packs heat in such a place is just looking for trouble. If Davis mucked up his ‘mission’, it’s just another example of US failure in the region. Dean Martin as secret agent Matt Helm would NEVER be so bumbling. In all seriousness, I hate Davis and his employers all the more for trashing the privilege that I once enjoyed.

Who knows, is the CIA involved in bumping off more western-sympathetic Pak officials, so as to stoke the crusade to deliver nukey-nervous Pakistan from sharia terror?
Bill Ford of FoMoCo was interviewed by a typically casual Renaay M. He sounds like a Whole Earth Catalog nerd. I hope he is. He seems like he would be an enemy of the oil companies, but Renaay conveniently forgot to ask Bill if maybe the oil companies were having a problem with Ford’s uppityness in tilting away from fossil fueling. Amy Goodman would of course have asked that question. But she’s Amy Goodman and not mundane. NPR, in all its civilized behavior, does not make CEOs tapdance.


Incredibly, today Renaay referred to Zimbabwe’s Bob Mugabe as ‘somewhat of a despot’. SOMEwhat? I mean, where has she BEEN? Mugabe is more universally despised than Gaddafi. (Muammar has oil. Bob doesn’t. Oil-less despots are more convenient to despise.)

Anyway, Renaay is final proof that NPR must have airheaded brains hosting their shows, as they are impervious to reality. Propaganda-ready mouthpieces cannot be moved to humanity, even though they’ve witnessed, firsthand, all sorts of hot spots. (Chris Hedges, hardline reporter, always has been a humanitarian.) Their job is to serve the specific sectors that their employers have defined, not to go off on some humanitarian bleeding heart lovefest.

But Renaay, honey, it’s official: MUGABE IS A DESPOT. Inflict your dumbass personality elsewhere, STARTING TONIGHT. Even Mattel’s PR dept. couldn’t use you.


Morn Ed saves their cheerful crap for the end of the show, so as not to appear too disrespectful to the dark side of US imperialism. And in their ongoing service to America, they’re still helping us know what is really stupid in American pop culture, as opposed to what ISN’T really stupid in American pop culture.

For example: Barbie (and Ken)=good. Anna Nicole Smith=bad.

In London, Philip Reeves profiled the new opera, ‘Anna Nicole Smith’, and he didn’t apply any mockery to the story, just straightforward reporting. NPR HQ obviously disapproves of Anna Nicole, so they can smirk around Reeves’ story all they want. I daresay, Anna Nicole’s life is just as operatic as Lucia di Lammermoor’s. What’s wrong with giving it the Donizetti treatment?

Renaay: What’s a Don A. Zetti, Steve?
Inskreep: A pizza sold by an insurance agent! Har har!
(See? I kin doo kulturul eleet all by myself now!)
Inskreep’s own contribution involved him saying that Anna Nicole Smith being discussed in a British accent was so much better. Or something like that. (See why I get sarcastic?)

Even though Reeves has been sidelined on stories like this, he and Quist-Arcton still warm my heart. (Hey you two, they could use you both over at Al Jaz…)

We’re all little NPR-influenced pop culture critics now, aren’t we?


One more NPR pop culture nightmare.

More examples: Justin Bieber=stupid/childish. Scott Simon=not stupid/not childish – but funny!
Our Morn Ed team was making gentle fun about a lock of Justin Bieber’s hair being auctioned off. Scott Simon wasn’t mentioned, but his spirit was there.

At any rate, they made it clear that the Bieber hair thang was sort of, you know, silly. They even implied that the charity the auction money would go to was sort of - silly.

My local morning hostess always likes to join in on the NPR HQ fun. She’s skillfully adopted the Inskreep Punchline Pause ™ wholesale, and today she expanded on the Justin Bieber mockery by deliberately calling him ‘Justin Timberlake’. Really funny stuff for the new listeners who are just discovering NPR!

It’s also funny how Bieber, a virtual Michael Jackson knockoff, gets the National Public Ridicule, while Jackson himself always seemed to get uncertain but ‘respectable’ treatment. Yeah, he’s dead and all, but is this because of some below-the-radar racial policy confusion, or just the fact that Michael was one sick puppy and Justin (Bieber) is jes’ plain wholesome and fun, so he can take a bit of harmless joshing?

Bieber=good, safe influence (so far). Jackson=dangerous influence, but so damn popular (proceed with caution).

White boys who just wanna be black will always be treated better on NPR than black boys who wanna be white.

Let NPR become just as stupid as they think they need to be. Because, to paraphrase architect Ralph Adams Cram, ‘the sooner we accomplish the destiny it so perfectly shadows, the sooner we shall be able to clear the ground and begin again.’

Wow, what a humungous burden it is to be America’s Storyteller. So much to decide on! So much to dictate! To paraphrase Harold on the ‘Red Green Show’, NPR is the ‘smartest person in the whole wide room’, as it were.

That’s our NPR – always doing their part to enforce a cultural elite (of dubious, dubious quality) on we the living.

NPR is so monumentally ‘stimulating’, it makes me digress within digressions. Shameful, I know.

AND finally, but most importantly:

Bradley Manning (admittedly erroneously labeled 'a marine' on NPR) is getting slammed further.

Get it from here, not NPR:

No comments:

Post a Comment