Monday, February 14, 2011

Another, Grander Kind Of Donald


Fig. 1 His favorite jammies

Ages after his confessional was published, NPR finally got access to The Donald Rumsfeld's dance card.

What resulted was a dueling of the egomaniacs. Inskreep was determined to 'do a McNamara' on Rummy, and Rummy used his incredible charm to imply that Inskreep was somehow 'strange'. His trademark feistiness, which only made his voice sound reedy once, was kept in check, though he seemed to regard Steven as a pesky insect.

It made for gigantic radio.

Inskreep's big innovative, bottom-line question: was it worth all the mess just to bump off Saddam? Well of course Rummy's gonna say yes.

My big bottom-line question: how many book sales resulted in this NPR interview? I ask Rummy: was it worth it?

PS on Rummy’s addition to the Bush/Blair/Feith Library of True Neocon History: in gangland etiquette, it is always acceptable to bump off your pals if they double cross you or get uppity or don’t stay bought. Former pal Saddam had it coming after he refused offers he couldn’t refuse. The Don was in the thick of all that, as we very well know.

It’s also good gangland manners to let your supposed enemies escape. Rummy accidently revealed to Inskreep that he’s on a first name basis with Bin Laden. The Don to Osama: ‘We’ll bomb the shit out of Tora Bora, which’ll cover your getaway… Then I’ll dump the blame on Tommy Franks, who always follows orders.’

Osama needed The Don as much as The Don needed (and still needs) Osama.

PPS: In the Inskreep interview, I'm surprised Rummy didn't take credit for the Tunisian and Egyptian revolutions, having paved the way for the heathen after 'liberating' Iraq and all. (Assange in comparison is a punk nobody.)

But, being the good honest Neocon that he is, and as a leading soldier against democracy, he couldn't possibly do so.

However, he may have wished that he had taken credit, as the domino effect in the region opens up all sorts of Neocon dreams. The advent of Greater Israel might be at hand, what with the Prophet Glennbeck's forecast of The Caliphate's certain return!

Rummy may have to reinvent himself for a 4th Act.

Stay tuned for the big new movie version, starring Arnie Schwartzenegger in his triumphant return to acting as the Evil Caliph, and Chuck Norris as the Avenging Angel.

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