National Public Responsibility: To Be Perfect So As To Be Trustworthy

Despite all mine criticism, doesn't NPR seem like it would be just the gee-whiz-iest FUNNEST place to work in the universe??

Why, everyone's so polite, civil and merry with one another, I'll bet they don't have a single soap opera amongst themselves to gossip about, especially now that Adenoid Andie C-brook's married up.

They're all so damn supportive of one another! How possible is that? Perhaps it's all due to the free allowances of Ambien, Xanex, Angadrene, certain selected anti-psychotic medications, and other prescription nightmares, generously (and quietly) supplied by Big Pharma. That’s gotta be it.

Steve, Happy 'Kreep that he is, just plain gets along with EVERYBODY. Donny Gonny, the 8th Dwarf, seems to be having a ball, what with all the 'witty commentary' and taking the opportunity to grandstand his illustrious service to the nation as Certified Dubya Sycophant, and all.

Because, when you're part of the In Crowd of Smugly-Smile-When-You're-Talking-At-The-Great-Unwashed NPR All Stars, you have ARRIVED, baby!

Hell, I'd rather witness Sen. Mitch McConman hawking up his collective viscosity than having to suffer one minute of NPR cuteness as one of the gang.

Mitch, who of course should be ditched, always reminds me of some fussbudget nobody who's playing an elderly maiden aunt in drag in a high school play. Prim, priggish, and pole-up-the-ass. And sitting in the audience, I have plenty of rotten tomatoes at hand.

PS: In order to con us and keep conning us, NPR must come off as strong, united, resolute, and most importantly, NON-DYSFUNCTIONAL. And don't forget DOWNRIGHT HAPPY as a requirement.

Only then can the powers of propaganda, persuasion, and snake oil dispensation be properly applied, and in perpetuity.

Rove-ism in action. The Neocons knew the Bush Administration might not last. But a propagandistic news organization - now THERE's a plan!