Developing A Taste For Sacrificial Lamb

Fig. 1: Oh no, he's gonna cry! Too many visits to the Gulf might cause distraughtness


(NOTICE: Funny, but JUST AS I WAS WRITING THE FOLLOWING, word has come over the Internets that Tone ISN'T SO TOP ANYMORE, but, for historical purposes, I am leaving the original text intact.)

How dreary it would be to be BP CEO Tony Hayward! And not necessarily because of the justified broasting he just received from some very responsibly-performing Congresspeople yesterday. What is obviously a boring personality, with a tedious faux-aristo accent (e.g. bland, no character, etc.), just a haughty, toffee-nosed prig, with pre-moulded hair, capillary-shattered cheeks, and rheumy eyes, yet with a standard ‘fit’ physique that enables him to buy Saville suits right off the rack . . . Well, he just happens to be the perfect whipping doll to prop up in front of such a hearing, so that he can make sedative-assisted replies to pissed off 2-year termers properly held in contempt by such superior persons as the newly distraught ‘n devastated Tip Top Tone Hayward.

(One wonders if they perchance called him Wayward Hayward at school. Oh, probably not. He’s a bore, I tell you. A BORE.)

Oh yes, but I’m sure he’d be a barrel of ‘tony’ laughs once he got a few Pimm’s cups in him, but thank heavens we don’t have to undergo any such vulgarity. It’s a bit of fun poking the barbs at him, but he’s essentially such a crashing bore that the dalliance wears thin in mere minutes rather than half-hours.

Will he become a Lord after he’s sacked? No doubt. With precedents like his predecessor, the scandalous Lord Browne, no doubt, indeed. Loyal readers of this blog know that I am a selective Anglophile, so I feel eminently qualified to proclaim Tony Hayward (even if he had nothing to do with BP and was merely a numbers chap at your neighbourhood Ladbrokes) as The Worst of British.

Of course, why would the puppet-ized ‘leader’ of any creep-corp be a likable, even fun person? BP might just as well have hired Creep Emeritus Paul Dundas Wolfowitz for the job. Nope, part of the New Strategies for corporate mask-wearing is to make the personalities as invisible as possible. It’s all part of Neoconning going underground: dump the attention-getting ego-based personalities and go with the covert stuff, which is where they flourished anyway, before the vanity trip that so effectively sidetracked them.

But to the issue of sacrificing a lamb. I’m not at all referring to Tony, who could be regarded as a sacrificial lamb by the shadows above him, and of course he is easily dismissable as a mere bit player in this whole tawdry drama. Dispensable, certainly. No, I’m talking about the Gulf of Mexico: the lamb sacrificed to enable the collective dumbo-ism in the US to clear, if only by small increments, in order to show the wages of fear and death now being realized by our erroneous ways. You all know what I’m talking about.

If Tony gets his comeuppance, fine. And ‘the others’, too. But remember who and what’s really paying the price here. And no one’s even talking about the effects the mess will/are having on Yucatan, Quintana Roo, Belize, and divers other Caribbean lands. Perhaps there are those who hope the whole slop will be channeled unto the shores of Cuba, so as to unseat the Marxist/Leninist/Trotskyite/Maoist/Mensheviks there. But I don't think that's what will happen.