And Furthermore...

Columbia's Bollinger didn't have to go into details regarding our relationship with Iran. His childish and churlish introduction was all about tone, not problem-solving. He was also catering to a certain constituency regarding Iran. I'm not talking about Jewish/Israeli protesters. There are many, many disaffected Iranians in this country who came over after 1979, who were part of the Shah's machine. They want 'their' Iran back. Just like the disaffected Cubans in Florida want 'their' Cuba back. Most of the media emphasis has been placed on the emotional Iran vs. Israel issues, but the real stakes in this game are who's going to 'get' Iran and its tremendous wealth. One of the chief reasons we invaded Iraq was to secure economic control of that nation's resources, and as a stepping stone in achieving the same with Iran. What better to approach this goal by taking cheap and over-obvious shots at an easy target, such as the current Iranian president, who we all know full well is no dictator because he does not have pure dictatorial powers. He is, however, a convenient target for a variety of reasons.

Also, we are not engaging Iran directly. Instead we engage in a coy and elusive game of teasing the Iranians on the premise that they are, as a nation, a terrorist organization. Nothing they say is to be believed anyway, so we will not dignify ourselves by talking with them. If Condi or Bush himself dared to fly to Teheran and engage in person, that could short-circuit a lot of the Iranian bravado. The Americans are purposefully timid because they don't WANT conciliatory gestures from Iran. They don't care what Khamenei says. They do, however, care very much about what Ahmadinejad says, the more outrageous and threatening the better. I have even thought that Ahmadinejad is on the CIA payroll, just to keep things stirred up. The neocon strategy requires keeping Iran hostile so that there will be high purpose in 'taking back Iran'. Even something so trivial as Lee Bollinger's rant against his guest is extremely valuable in sustaining this strategy. This situation has to be examined holistically. Getting hung up on the Iranian president's blather, meant to annoy, is as worthwhile as taking the utterances of 'Reverend' Fred Phelps as gospel. Ahmadinejad may be a head of state, but so is Bob Mugabe, and we all know what a creep he is. Ahmadinejad gets a lot of flak for smiling as he's being interviewed (e.g. white knight Scott Pelley's comment on '60 Minutes'), but how many times has Bush smirked his way through an interview? Americans who think they're right about everything usually cannot tolerate 'the pot calling the kettle black' when it might apply to them.

Yeah, I Don't Particularly Like Mr Ahmadinejad Either, But . . .

. . . Columbia U's prez Lee Bollinger's extreme egotism in attempting to Castro-ize Ahmadinejad was nothing short of the official Bush line of refusing to deal diplomatically with Iran. He obviously wants to be known as THE hero who told off the Iranian president, a bold and courageous act which could garner him the post of Sec'y of Education in the pathetic, waning months of the Bush Administration. Bollinger's trumped up tin-type righteousness was as laughable as his demi-Frank Luntz hair style.

Truly mature leaders would write off half of Ahmadinejad's pronouncements rather than getting all wigged-out about them. Leaders of all types constantly say stupid things. Talk is cheap. Adolescent snottiness has replaced dignified statesmanship.

Leave General Petraeus Alone AGAIN! Do You Hear??

I know you've probably seen this Special Heartbreaking Presentation many times, but give it another try. Because, people, it's time to LEAVE GENERAL PETRAEUS ALONE!

Randomness In This, The PETRÆVS EPOCH

We've had some time now to sullenly frolic in the sordid stew that is the sole detritus that remains from the epic of Petrævs Week recently wrapped. So, what about some 'here-and-there' thoughts to wobble forth with?

1. I am reminded of the many details of the important and scandalous story of Dubya The Dubious' dubious military record. And I rejoice at Dan Rather's lawsuit slammed at CBS and Viacom, and that sneaky fossil Sumner Redstone. I've read even at other progressive blogs, people bitching that 'what took Rather so long' to file a lawsuit. Egads, we should be grateful that somebody who was actually on the inside of the corporate press is now stepping up to the plate. Quite frankly, I'm happy to be in the 'Go, Dan, Go!' crowd. The mainstream media (MSM) and other assorted dimbulbs can continue to stew in their own sour grape juice, while others with guts outshine them.

2. A note about an NPR hack in old Baghdad, reporting on the recent toxic Blackwater puddle tragedy. I was sick of NPR's gal-in-Green-Zone-combat Anne Garrels long ago. I don't care what percentage of her reportage is valid. That affected 'tough' voice delivery betrays a person who's having the time of her life, diggin' every downbeat story like it's better than sex. She's like those journos that Robert Young Pelton talks about in 'The World's Most Dangerous Places', that's all fucked up from trying to be heroic and humanitarian at the same time. Pulizer-diggers, I'd call them.

You can tell she digs the Blackwater trip, too. I'm sure many of the embedded ones have huge crushes on those psycho Christian soldiers.

3. As my daily Neocon Propaganda Radiation exposure is less than 15 minutes per day, I greatly appreciate Mytwords at 'NPR Check' ignoring the Geiger-counter clicks and daring to do his insightful summaries.

As the broadcasts grind on, I might have to 'suit up' to keep myself protected, even at my minimal exposure level!

4. The Great American Appetite for B.S. came to a new high with the Petraeus 'crock' that was laid before the nation. As Bill Maher said to Wolf Blitzer, Petraeus 'is performing a political function for the White House.' I don't know why that concept is so hard for the media to grasp, other than that continual slurp of grade 'A' bullshit is just too savory to deny one's hungry gullet.

So you know what? I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to LEAVE GENERAL PETRAEUS ALONE. (See way above.)

Don Doesn't Do Regret But Don Does Taos

Well, I read that GQ interview with Donny Rummy, and it was a fine portrait of a professional two-dimensional personality. One of those guys who is, I guess, so ordinary and unpretentious in his real life so as to make us think he couldn't possibly be a high-level switch thrower and power-monger, let alone evil. He cares about calves and old dairy records, and he's got a canny and appealing wife whom he loves, so I guess, my goodness, he's human after all.

He doesn't even seem to be beholden to anybody, least of all, Dubya. As a Prime Neocon, Rummy would appear not overly loyal to the cause.

All these guys (e.g. the Neocon Concern) appear to be in cahoots with one another, but they're all essentially rivals, too. It can't be stressed too much that the main techniques in attaining and holding power in America are Mafia-style in their nature. That's what runs the show now. That's what we've evolved into. The stakes are so high that democracy, or attempts at it, is pushed aside by more powerful and scheming mafia or fascist forces. We have plenty of evidence of this.

Also, the public should be firmly aware that everything about Rummy and his kind is about performance. It is not possible, based on their deeds, to take them at face value. Falseness is part of their very being. Here's Rummy on the plane with the GQ reporter, acting like the genial, folksy, even sitcom-type grandad that you may not like, but by golly, he's so normal, how could you not respect him? That's why I call him two-dimensional. On the surface, he's a performer, as vacuous as a forgettable TV actor. His third dimension, where the action of his agenda is located, is totally occult, and he knows how to keep it hidden. What else can be said about somebody whose record is well-known, and whose responses, like 'I'm not gonna go there', are nothing short of implications in his crimes?

Like Petraeus, Rumsfeld is a machine. Part of the Bush Machine. They perform the needed job without too many complications. Others, like Wolfowitz and Perle, are even more hideous, for they pretend to be philosophers, so as to show the way ahead. Their attitudes of haughtiness and war profiteering lie at the very bottom of the human experience.

For Rummy, I think that this strict management of his third dimension has a lot to do with self-preservation, too. It isn't just a performance issue.
Don's just as two-dimensional as ever. But it's proof that he is indeed human. What could be more human than self-denial? If he ever actually examined his third dimension and truly appreciated the venality therein, he'd have to blow his own brains out.

The Passion Of Pet-Crock

I have never seen such a lifeless performance. Dainty congresspeople were so amazed at their stamina, but I have to say, the Dave Petraeus and Ry Crocker Show was a signal example of Bush Machines in action. Yes, machines. Audioanimatronics, pioneered by the Disney folks in that memorable 'It's a small world' show at the 1964 NY World's Fair, started it all.

Now, with Condi, Gonzo, and Miss Dana (Press Sec-in-waiting), the android art has reached a new apogee of perfection. Dave and Ry, the latest models, may only be capable of one expression - Dave's being mindless efficiency, and Ry's being George-H-W-Bush-before-he-vomited-on-the-Japanese-prime-minister, but the Spew Factor just goes and goes and goes, and in gentlemanly fashion, too!

How many times were they thanked for their service! How many times did they blankly respond! No passion to spend in the first place, they do not feel, they do not comprehend, they merely perform.

As purveyors of the Bush Machine's Hollow Optimism (TM), Dave and Ry can state, in their trademark dull tones, 'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED'.

He Speaks The Future

Indeed, a Triumph will be required! And a coronation, for we are, at this moment, listening, and seeing, through the miracle of the Internets, our future Leader and Teacher, our future Imperator. Wes Clark, Bowell Powell, and even Jebber, eat your hearts out!
HAIL PETRAEVS! NOW!

He will be our first President to be born in the 1950s.

I mean Emperor - Dave the First. Laurel leaves look good on generals.

He speaks of America's NEW Greatest Generation. And he will lead it.

Like, WHERE?

He Came And His Mike Didn't Work

If he were really a great general, his oration could be heard by all, mike-less, as Caesar did! He had booster amps in his balls.

And He Came, And They Hailed Him Like No Other

Have you not heard? Did you not know? PETRAEVS comes! He enters the Capitol, citizens! Hail! Tidings of Victory in our Eastern Provinces!

Never was news so eagerly anticipated! Never were the hearts of men so ready to plan the future, based on these few words from this simple but enlightened man, this general, this HERO, in which the flame of genius burns brightly!

Oh, where is Persia, General? Show us the way!

Keep your distance, ye Brutuses, ye Cassius-types, with your lean and hungry looks! Remain in the shadows, and gaze out to see what a real hero is: PETRAEVS MAXIMVS!

A Benchmark

Overarching this wacky week that was: the Larry Craig Saga! Larry gets the esteemed Michael Jackson-cum-Paris Hilton Award for Entertainer of the Week - in the midst of the surrounding carnage.

I Finally Have Larry All Figured Out

Here's really what happened to US Senator Larry Craig in that Minnesota airport loo. It all makes so much sense now.

At least Larry didn't attempt the Thom McAn Shuffle in his own state of Idaho. And because he's not gay, he must have just been checking if any blue state weirdo was trying to 'pull' anything. That's what Larry was doing, gang! His OWN undercover work! A pre-emptive strike! He was simply exercising the Bush Doctrine. How do you like THAT, Larry-haters?

Whatever Are We Going To Do With Michael?

LEADERS!
Great Leaders Are Not Born. They Copy Other Leaders.

Really, gang, now why shouldn't Mikey Chertoff become our new Attorney General? Let's give Pre-Rot Skullface a chance! If Mikey were to become AG, just think of the full year of fun we'd have! I for one would be keen on seeing Mikey's full, majestic rage unleashed, which is currently kept covert behind the Homemade Insecurity Dept.'s gentle facade. It would be a pretty grand show, cuz AGs get to go apeshit more often than strong 'n silent security types do.

Mikey's got that totally rad sci-fi sinister protagonist visage, which he displays with unabashed vigah. Unhappily, his squeezed-pressure-vessel voice is a BIG disappointment, but that can easily be media-morphed into a baleful bellow at the mere twist of an audio-tweaking digital toggle!

In addition, examine the semi-colour plate above. As Chief Martial Law Administrator (aka AG), Comrade Chertoffski will be as heroic, as effective, and as gloriously lookalike as Vladimir Ilych Ulyanov!

So, think about the Mikey Option, Dear Dicktator Dubya! Millions of sci-fi geeks'll love ya for it! And 'tis love that you need right now.

Larry Craig Straightens Things Out

"I want to thank you all for coming out today..."
- Larry Craig, at his recent Boise Press Conference In The Bright Idahoan Sun of Truth

Go, Gonzo, Go. Now GO!

I grudgingly have to admit, I heard of Gonzo's resignation first on Neocon Public Relations. You know, Mourning Edition (ME invariably puts me in a bad mood; and that's a pretty mournful fact). I was about to indulge in an NPR-less morn, but then, annoyingly, decided to flip it on, and a mucus-voiced Inskeeper was rattling out the (good?) news.

And few people do fussy, nasaly delivery better than Ari Shapiro, who was positively fluttery today, as if he, by his show-offy prancings in that tinny, narrow, suffocatingly-awful voice, actually had a stake in Gonzo's waddling off of the blighted Bushique stage.

Speaking of Ari, that other Ari of note, Fleischer, has surfaced again - possibly for air, after years-long submersion in the sewery sump of shadowy bargain Bush basement life - to give us a powerful (in the perfidious sense) series of pep-talk ads that do nothing but contribute to the subversive and floating anxiety that is so mentally retarding this country.

So that's how I found out about Alberto.
NPR's very ease of accessibility is one of its most alarming factors. It's that damn convenience thing.

My farewell message to Gonzo is, as Porky Pig would say: Get out! Out! OUT!! OUT!!! OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting The Dosage Right

Most of my yakkings about NPR are now based on a 15 minute-or so daily dosage of dreariness. This morning it was Corey Flintstone's turn, giving his 'take' on Iran's 'toxic' influence on Iraq. Corey's delivery has always bugged me. He usually sounds like an 8th-grader who wants to convince you that his matchbook collection is cooler than yours. His word emphasis is completely mucked up, and it's all an affectation, because I've heard him talk quite normally and acceptably. That's a big problem with these NPR lifers, who feel they have to project a certain 'personality' to be 'interesting.' Nevertheless, I have to admit, in his Iraq stories, he does attempt some depth of understanding, or at least exploration of his subject that the usual neo-NPR suspects aren't capable of. However, this is just a style observation. I have to leave it to others, such as the NPR Check blog, to sift the substance out of the style.

Quite frankly, sometimes I feel embarrassed that I'm devoting so much attention to something so worthless as Neocon Propaganda Radio's style. I have to justify a certain amount of it though, as I'm interested in the progression of persuasive media, and a lot of the persuasion has to do with shiny superficiality, which NPR has in abundance. As we all know, it's that sheer abundance that makes exposure to NPR so soul-damaging. So, a mantra results: 'Keep the dosage low, keep the dosage low, lower, lower, still lower...'

Things Most Needful

One major imperative remains for the Bush/Cheney regime: to de-stabilize Iran as a regional power of consequence.

A 'sympathy vote' for Israel might be just as potent in selling a strike on Iran as 'bringing democracy' or 'WMD' were in the Iraq disaster.

Intentionally incomplete reports, in the form of propaganda, sent via NPR to 'thinking' audiences, are more valuable than a week of Rush Limbaugh rantings. If 'thinking' people, such as higher education types, where much of NPR's audience lies, can be brought on board with certain issues, then a significant battle to contain intellectualism will have been won. Condi, my good buddy Wolfie, and Freddy 'Fats' Kagan, and many others are all products of the Neocon 'intellectual freedom' which might be so effectively spread through Academia via conduits such as NPR.

So, two imperatives stand out for the Neocons:
1. Take out Iran while the iron is hot.
2. Take in NPR as an 'innocuous' tool to mold 'thinking' peoples' minds.

We must fasten our seatbelts securely.

The New Concept Of What Center-Left Actually Means Now

Yesterday I heard this guy, a guy called Guy, Guy Raz, on this 'All Thingies Considered-ed' show, which plays every, every day on Neocon Public Radio. He made a statement about the Brookings Institute being 'center-left'. I thought, y'know, that's what many think NPR itself is.

I wonder if projectile vomiting from distant locations can reach the Green Zone of NPR?

Karl Rove Defeats Effete-ism

You all know about K-carl's statement on K-crush Limbaugh, in which he lashed out at Dubya's critics, branding them as “sort of elite, effete snobs who can’t hold a candle to this guy.” Powerful stuff from Rapper Rove, who's about to embark on his next awesome mission sequence: prepping the wrecking ball for Hillarykins' razing, and prepping Jebber for '12.

But - but - but, a thought strikes me! So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance! But I must: is the true Connecticut Yankee soul of Dubya not revealed whenever he enunciates one particular word? And the word is: 'rather'. It comes out as a very un-HouTex-like 'rawther'. Rawther like the swish, effete, upper-crusty, powder-blue-blooded, gilded-aged pigboy types he and KR castigate, yet deep down in his innermost of sanctums, he remains? Just a . . . thought . . .

Padilla, Padalla...

The Bush Machine & Associated Interests Inc. need a sacrificial chicken in order to show that The Intergalactic War On Terror is indeed being won by The Righteous Ones.

Everyone's A Critic

Am I saying stuff about NPR that's too nasty?

Why, why NO!
No, I am not. Honest!

While I certainly admire civility in communication, I don't think it's too great a sin to be somewhat cutting when it comes to NPR's performance. After all, they are in the broadcasting business (more business-like than ever), and the P in NPR still stands, perhaps ostensibly, for 'public'. Anyone in public life or business has to be prepared for criticism. To my mind, that's the chief reason for this blog. I criticize NPR out of frustration, disappointment, and sometimes anger. Not because I want everything my way, but because all indications show that NPR isn't doing what they're supposed to be doing, and much evidence shows that they're cooperative with certain agendas in play in this country right now. That and other reasons make them worthy of criticism.

So I say, let it fly.

That said, responding to an earlier comment, I do indeed think NPR News' attempts in cultural matters are at times worse than their political coverage. Too many examples to note here, but to cite only one, I heard the gooey Liane Hansen and the occasional NPR film music 'maven' Andy Trudeau suavely yakking about the score to 'High Noon' on a recent Sunday morning. I don't want to bore anyone with my take on their mediocre ramblings, though Trudeau is no idiot when he's talking strictly about film scoring, but he plainly dumbs everything down for Liane and her listeners. The thing is, these NPR lifers usually muck up a potentially interesting segment by inflicting their unappealing personalities into every aspect of the subject at hand. This process is sometimes overt, and sometimes passive-aggressive. Liane had to put in her tiresome baby-boomer two cents, especially when she responded with disdain to Ray Conniff's quite sophisticated version of the theme song. Scarcely anything was said about the composer himself, Dimitri Tiomkin, one of cinema's more fascinating characters, or the evolution of 'High Noon' in the midst of McCarthyism. I'm dissecting this to such an extent because, while I applaud anyone who takes on interesting and esoteric subjects, I'm just amazed how the NPR treatment tends to end up with such a low common denominator. But of course that's expecting too much. Well, you can't please every listener, that's for sure, but the poor quality of many of their cultural probings is only indicative of the limitations of the personnel involved. That's only one reason why I don't treat NPR News as a finger-on-the-pulse cultural source. As we know, good and valuable cultural coverage certainly exists elsewhere on public radio, depending on the station. That’s why I’m referring specifically to NPR News here.

Style note: as I write this, I have ATC on in the background. Missy Melissa (Block) is interviewing the Gov. of Minnesota about the recent and awful bridge collapse. She is talking in a fairly normal, non-cutesy manner (mainly because she isn't smirk-smiling as usual while she's talking). Now this is a serious subject, so she's not acting overtly cute, which means, she can talk without affectation if she wants to. That's what I mean by NPR persons inflicting their personalities on listeners. It's not responsible broadcasting!!